#EmbraceTheMoment #ChooseLove #MakeTime #ForgiveYourself #MentalHealth

My Not To-do List

Step back, embrace the moment and enjoy.

Do you allow yourself to DO JUST THAT?  It is not as easy as it sounds when you have tons of things to check off your to-do list. We are women who want the both of both worlds and it only makes sense for us to obligate ourselves with different requests, all to feel valued as a woman, mother, and wife.

Even as a long time yoga practitioner, I still catch myself not synchronizing my thoughts with the fundamental principal of yoga, which is to being present. While I rest on my yoga mat, breathing mindfully, I find my mind wandering back to my to-do lists. It was like I was multi-tasking, resting yet being productive at the same time.

I agree that, stepping back to embrace the moment to most of us often, may seem as a waste of time and an unnecessary mindset. But here is where I am going to convince you it’s not.

So instead of preparing a to-do list, I came up with a not-to-do list to share with you all.

1.     DO NOT WAIT to make time for your loved ones.

       When was the last time you called home? It upsets me every time I see more wisps of grey on my parents’ head. My gut told me that I should visit home more often. But once I return from my holiday, it fades to the back of my mind as I continue my ‘busy-bee’ lifestyle.

       We always push it to tomorrow, when we are hard pressed for time. We allocate our time for our businesses, work assignments, meetings, workshops but we often neglect that closet to us. Give your loved ones a call, I am sure they miss you too.

       Make time for your friends too. When was the last time you invited your besties out for a coffee and quick chat?

       Nowadays, I try to drop them a message or to give them a call to see how they are doing. It is the strange nature of human beings to be willing to be there for our friends but also choose not to trouble them when we ourselves are having a hard time. I called a close friend recently and realized that she was in the middle of filling for a divorce. Despite her unfortunate circumstances, I was relieved that I was there in her time of need.

       Nurturing sincere and trustworthy friendships, is vital for our health and wellbeing. Be present for those special friendships, so that in times of need, you can rely on their love and support in return. Be the shoulder to cry on or the sense of calm and support for others   when they need it. Friendship is a special bond we build, treasure and keep.

       Another important person you need to make time for is yourself. Schedule in time to do something you truly enjoy and love, without hesitation. It is how you show care for nobody but You. If you encounter hiccups during those bad days, take it easy, reflect and do better the next time.

       Love, love, love yourself and be grateful for the setbacks and the opportunities. Acknowledge your efforts and be ok when your expected outcome does not measure up. No big deal. Try it again. Smile and move on. The earth is still turning. There is always another chance for you to strike gold.

2.     DO NOT DOUBT yourself too often.

       Why is it so hard for us to forgive ourselves? We are not well taught about forgiveness. We punish and blame ourselves for mistakes we commit, somehow hoping that it will make us feel better and tougher. Does it make you feel understood and self-supportive? If not, why do we do this to ourselves? Not forgiving ourselves from our past mistakes traps our minds into thinking that a certain goal is unreachable. It makes you believe that the anger and bitterness is the thread that holds your hopes together. A feeling so familiar it becomes the air you breathe every day.

       Can we choose to be gracious and forgive our own shortcomings instead? We are not our enemies. We do not need to prove our worth to anyone. We deserve our own respect before other and to be treated with care and kindness. No one is equipped with all the knowledge and experience for any task or responsibility. It comes with time, effort, practice and perseverance.

       I share Buddha’s wise words “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” After all who can argue with a sage?

      If you make a mistake, take the courage to admit it. Be honest to yourself; mend it and take it as a lesson to remember. Stop doubting and wondering further as you sink deeper into this hole of turmoil you have created for yourself.

3.     DO NOT IGNORE how you feel physically, mentally and emotionally.

Mental illness is real. We heard it from news where families lost their loved ones to depression, family violence and other related mental and emotional related issues.

      Our body reflects the state of our mind. Often, we dismiss signs from our aching or exhausted body as being less important. Invest time to have a peaceful and sensible dialogue with ourselves. This is especially necessary in our fast paced world, as we are more occupied, stressed out and relentless to both our bodies and our minds.

       If you know anyone that needs help, do not stop there. Encourage or assist them to call Lifeline for Crisis Support and Suicide Prevention. You could save a life.

 4.     DO NOT HATE BUT LOVE.

Hate is a strong emotional word that can bring destruction and irreparable harm. Terrorists attacks, wars between neighboring countries and mass killings of other human races, such inhumane and unforgiving destructions were convicted with no remorse and guilt. The roots of such sinful acts of mankind are hatred and revenge.

Just by going through that thought process of hating someone is draining and counter-productive. Hatred allows us to feel like victims, to see as being bullied, to agree being misjudged or to blame for being wronged for doing something good. The problem or conflict remains unsolved. Who is losing out? In most cases, the innocent lives of others and it could be even ours.

  Love is exactly the opposite. It’s comforting, energising, thoughtful and full of goodness that is irresistible and best of all; it brings people together for the greater good such as the 10 million pound received in donations in the 12 hours following the Ariana Grande’s One Live Manchester concert on 4 June 2017 to help victims and their families from bombing after her concert at Manchester Arena on 22 May 2017.

  Do not forget to embrace where you are right in this minute. Honour your past with empathy and gratitude so you can be the light for others. You never know when you could be that light. Just know you would be because you choose love over hatred just like those thousands and thousands who turned up for the One Live Manchester concert . Only Love can cast away the darkness and bring warmth, smiles and laughter that last a longer time.

Do not wait. Do not doubt. Do not ignore. Do not hate but love. These matter the most to me. In this moment, what is in your thought or your call of action? Put it down in the comment. I would love to hear it too.